I belong in this Room

Let me tell you a story.

I was working for an employer in the NHS, and I remember a very interesting experience I had there. It was lunchtime, and most of the people in the office had gone out for lunch. I was employed as a temporary contractor at the time.

The head of finance of that organisation had come down to look at what we were doing. There had been a change in leadership, and they wanted to get familiar with what we did. She came into the office and sat down, and we struck up a conversation. She asked how I was, and I gave my perspective on how things were running.

While we were sitting there, I noticed some people would come in, see her, and just avoid the room and walk away. It was a very profound conversation, about life. A really, really good conversation. Eventually she said, “Thanks for your time,” and walked off.

Now, nothing really came of that conversation. But it’s what happened afterwards that really got me thinking about the confidence to stay in a room and have rich conversations.

One of my colleagues came in and said, “How come you stayed to have that conversation? Why did you stay? And why was she talking to you? You’re just a temp.”

It’s funny, because before the CFO started talking to me, she knew I was a contractor. I’d made it clear: I’m just holding this role until the original postholder comes back. But she carried on the conversation anyway. Meanwhile, this colleague, who was probably at the same level as me, was so taken aback that the CFO would sit down and have a conversation with me.

That was an interesting point in my life, because it’s when I started to recognise just how much value I had to offer in a room, and that I wasn’t limited by how people perceived me. It’s something I’ve built on throughout my career.

You can’t allow yourself to be devalued by other people. You have to know what you’re worth. That confidence in yourself will keep you in the rooms you’re supposed to be in. But if you keep looking for validation in what other people think of you, chances are you’ll never grow. Chances are you’ll never leave the bottom rung of the ladder. You’ll be stuck there, because people will keep telling you: “You’re temporary. You don’t belong in this room. It’s not worth promoting you. It’s not worth giving you more to handle.”

I hope this helps somebody. When you look at yourself, don’t look through the lens of somebody who looks down on you and says, “You’re a temp, you’re too young, you’re too this, you’re too that.” Look at yourself and say: I know what I’m bringing to the table. I know that I have a voice. And I know that I belong in this room.